Gentlemen, this post is not for you so please have the courtesy to skip this one.
So I read that "Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy" book, and parts of "What to Expect" but none of them gave you the skinny on the little physical details that can make your pregnancy either hysterical, or make you hysterically cry.
Here is what I wish people told me:
Belly Button Pain
My belly button (or at least the top of it) popped out right around the beginning of the 3rd trimester. The rest of it took some time to pop out, but when it did - holy sheet! - it was so painful and tender. It felt like someone had a string attached to that section of my skin and was yanking on it daily. I would sit at work and push my hand against it to get relief, or wear my Bella Band doubled over for support. One time this woman I sort of know poked my belly button in jest and I almost got up punched her in the face. That is how bad it hurt.
Leaking
I know milk production starts in pregnancy, but I had no idea that you could leak - like REALLY leak - ahead of time. I was holding my cat like a baby (cradled in my arms), cooing at him and he was purring and it was a sweet crazy cat lady moment. Once he had enough of me and I put him down, I realized my shirt was wet. Ick.
Peeing on your Hand
Once you get to that phase of "I can't see my toes" it also means "I can't see anything from the waist down". Every time I went for a pre-natal appointment, I had to pee in a cup. Do you know how impossible that is if you cannot see over or around your belly?!? It means you likely pee on your hand and the cup every flipping time. GROSS!
Skin Tags
The first time I noticed one of these I thought it was a new mole. (I have to do a semi annual check of the moles and freckles on my body - my mother has skin cancer, and I've had a lot of spots removed that were pre -cancerous). But of course it's not a mole - it's a freaking nasty skin tag. Needless to say, I'll be making an appointment for the dermatologist asap!
Ligament Pain
The first time I noticed one of these I thought it was a new mole. (I have to do a semi annual check of the moles and freckles on my body - my mother has skin cancer, and I've had a lot of spots removed that were pre -cancerous). But of course it's not a mole - it's a freaking nasty skin tag. Needless to say, I'll be making an appointment for the dermatologist asap!
Ligament Pain
I never got round ligament pain. Instead I had the ligament pain right under my breasts - like my belly was pulling down so hard I had to sometimes hold up it up to feel better.
Discharge
This makes me want to scream. I had to wear a panty liner every day and sometimes change into a new one halfway through the day. I know your body produces more mucus in pregnancy, but this was ridiculous.
Sweating
Maybe it was because I was pregnant during the spring and summer in the humid south, but I felt like I was always, always hot. And towards the end of pregnancy, the place I always was hottest was right underneath my chest where my breasts rested on my belly and right underneath my belly when I was sitting down - so my bra was always wet. Awesomely nasty.
Leg and Back Pain
This might just be me, but every morning my back and my legs were so tight and cramped up. I had to stretch for 20 minutes or more to receive relief and I still felt sore and tense throughout the day.
Gas
This might make you laugh, but I have never gone to the bathroom in front of Matt. Ever. And I've tried to never fart in front of him either - I have a few times by accident and it makes me so embarrassed. Well all that went out the window when I got pregnant. I never knew how much extra air you end up with - and it has to come out some way. I had so many little "poots" of air during pregnancy and it was mortifying.
Knee Fat and Cellulite
I gained the standard amount of weight during pregnancy (25 lbs), but going into my second trimester I noticed I had an extra layer of fat around my knee. It even had cellulite in it! I also had a ton more cellulite on the front of my thighs. (Sigh.)
Ok ladies, what physical weirdness did you experience during pregnancy that no one warned you about? I need to know I'm not alone here! ;)
Happy Weekend!
Happy Weekend!
hahaha!!!! oooooh man....i loooove this. haha. yes, yes and yes! haha the gas thing...my story. so mortifying...yet so uncontrollable. haha. someone needs to write a best seller pregnancy prep book, all the things you won't read in "what to expect"...haha
ReplyDeleteAll of these are soo true!!
ReplyDeleteOh yeah I had all of these PLUS crazy swelling in my legs and feet. I still think that I miss being pregnant except for the swelling. The rest I could live with but my Cabbage Patch feet were the worst.
ReplyDeleteThe sweating (and it stinks!) was (and still is, 6 months postpartum) the worst for me.
ReplyDeleteI also got skin tags...like 10 of them. They gross me out, but my dr said they are too small to do anything about. Yech.
I think you pretty much nailed them right in the head!! lol
ReplyDeleteLove this list! I am 32 weeks now and feeling a lot of those. I didn't know round ligament pain could feel like I was being stabbed or just make me feel weak in the groin. I didn't know what a hemorrhoid was or that I actually had one first trimester when my crappy prenatal vitamins made me constipated, until after I switched and realized "oh that's what that was?!" I get broken blood vessels in my eye, fortunately under the lid where you cant see it but I was putting on mascara and freaked myself out with the big bloody spot on the white. All 'normal' pregnancy symptoms, thanks for sharing! And congrats on the new baby! :)
ReplyDeleteBefore I had a baby I never even wore deodorant--I didn't need to--I didn't stink (I promise I didn't). After baby I smell like onions--just hours after showering. It's been 15 months since Brix was born and it's still that way!
ReplyDeleteI love this too - but wait til you can compile the list of things no one told you about post partum! Good thing we love those little bebes so much!
ReplyDeleteThe thing that surprised me the most was actually postpartum night sweats! Ick!! I thought something was wrong with me, but it's just your body getting rid of excess water. Gross! Oh, and postpartum hair loss. I had heard of it, but it's unnerving when your hair comes out in clumps! I promise, you aren't going bald - but you might challenge the dog on the shedding front.
ReplyDeleteSO true!! I have the WORST post partum night sweats! So gross. Literally my sheets and pajamas would be SOAKED. So insane.
DeletePeeing a little when you cough, sneeze or laugh....the worst!
ReplyDeleteUghh...Jenny McCarthy has a really funny book on pregnancy and she delves into some of these very things!
ReplyDeletealso that cellulite will go away. I was horrified the first time around when I noticed all the cellulite on my thighs! But I think it's mostly cause of water retention, not real, stick around for the rest of your life kind of cellulite.
I also get what I call "fat knees" in the last trimester, its the worst. It makes me feel extra unattractive. but yes, it goes away. I've also heard people suggest reading jenny mccarthys book because its hilarious.
Deleteah, yes! i had the skin tags, too, and they totally grossed me out. sometimes i just closed my eyes and yanked them off, they were so freaky. i didn't have a lot of swelling in my first pregnancy, but my face filled out a lot, which i hated (it's how so many people claimed to know i was having a girl...you know, "girls steal their mothers' looks." people said that to me. for real. it's a folksy way of saying "damn, girl, you look awful!"). i got stretch marks in random places--the tops of my thighs with #1, then of course around the middle with #2 (the good news was that by #3, everything was already stretched). on the plus side, my first pregnancy was also the first time in my entire life that i didn't suffer miserable hay fever (thank you, suppressed immune system!)... the only times i've ever been constipated in my life were while i was pregnant, and while i am grateful not to have developed urinary incontinence after pregnancy--lots of women do!--i can say that ever since #2, i have to pee in shifts! it's like i can't get it all out in one shot--i have to stand up, give it a second, and then sit back down for the rest! wth? i suppose it beats peeing my pants.
ReplyDeleteyeah. good times :-)
You yanked them off? you are brave Vikki!
DeleteMy baby girl got one but it ended up drying up and falling off? It was weird!
Deletemy two thing were post pregnancy....how come no one told me i would cry every night for the first two weeks at 7pm? i wasn't sad or angry, just overwhelmed and hormonal. it got to the point where at 6:45 i'd say, pour me a glass of wine, it's coming :). also, how come no one told me that in the days following the baby being born, that i would be SUPER swollen. i thought my feet and toes were going to explode!
ReplyDeleteWow, this made me feel so much better - I definitely had anxiety every night during the first week around 10pm. I thought I was going crazy!
DeleteAll of the above! You aren't alone!!!
ReplyDeleteI HATED peeing in the cup! And then towards the end when you go every single week, ugh.
ReplyDeletePeople warned me about being swollen, especially in the middle of the summer, but I wasn't expecting such swollen ankles. It started at 9 or 10am (!!) and all I wore for the last 2-3 months were flip flops. My feet wouldn't fit in any other shoes. I called them Shrek feet. So attractive. :)
-Lisa
I too got skin tags and tiny little moles/freckles on my chest and tummy...not a lot but I noticed. My belly button popped really early like 20 weeks but it never hurt thankfully. I'm sure this is TMI but my areolas darkened and got a bit bigger. Thankfully they returned to normal post baby. My son was horizontal for a good part of my pregnancy and he kept kicking me on my right side. I was so sore by the end of my pregnancy. The sweating is a fun side effect too LOL But I have to say my hair looked great and food never tasted so good (2nd/3rd tri).
ReplyDelete