Since this post was so much fun (seriously all your stories were awesome!), I wanted to do another "What no one tells you" but in relation to labor and post-partum recovery. Again, this is for the ladies only!
I read all those labor books and heard all the horror stories (and the good stories too), but these are the things that I wish someone had told me ahead of time!
Contractions
They are NOT like painful menstrual cramps - they are a thousand times worse. I felt like my uterus was being ripped in half. My body would do involuntary things like twist into contortionist like positions and make me shake like I was freezing to death.
Side Bar: I have never cussed so much in my life as I did when I was contracting in the L&D room as I was changing into my hospital gown. I had to apologize to the nurses multiple times for my sailor mouth.
Pushing
Even though they reduced my epidural so I could feel the pressure of my contractions and have control of my legs, pushing was extremely difficult for me to figure out. My nurse and midwife kept telling me to push from my bottom, but I couldn't really feel my bottom (um, hello?! I had an epidural so I wouldn't have to feel it)! Needless to say, the first 15-20 minutes of pushing was really frustrating and unproductive.
Post-Labor Uterus "Massage"
I had no clue what my L&D nurse was doing to my lady bits after they laid Brighton on my chest - I was too distracted by my cute kid. But once the epidural wore off, I paid attention! I swear she was pushing as hard as she could on my uterus to "put it back in place". It hurt so bad, I had to ask for her to stop for a moment (she "massaged" it so hard at one point I was convinced she had bruised me). The other nurses also "massaged" my uterus throughout the first 24 hours and it hurt every single time.
Sitz Bath
More like yuck bath. Sitting in a warm bowl of water mixed with your own blood that is coming out of you? Um, no thank you.
Hemorrhoids
I can't even...
...let's just say Tucks Pads are my new best friend.
Post-Labor Bleeding
It can last up to 6 weeks and you have to wear enormous, thick pads. I don't think I have worn a pad since 7th grade. And that darn spray bottle they make you use - it's like a cheap man's bidet. Ick.
Baby Anxiety
I didn't have the baby blues, I had anxiety. Every night around 10pm during the first week home, I'd start to panic. At first it was related to nursing and an incident that happened early on (I'll tell that story another day), but then it became more about having to do the whole diaper/nurse/rock to sleep every 3 hours in the middle of the night by myself gig. Fortunately, it ended pretty quickly. Also, Matt does help in the middle of the night when I need him, but because he is working I let him sleep most of the time.
Ok dear readers, what do you wish someone told you about labor/post-labor recovery? Happy Weekend!
You are so great...and funny...and honest! Love it!
ReplyDeleteHow about the lovely mesh panties????? Don't they still have those?
The pushing on your tummy to help your uterus contract...H O L Y F R E A K I N C O W! And I will go ahead and tell you so you don't have to include this in your *2nd baby what they didn't tell yous*....it gets worse with each baby.
Well I have something to look forward to! ;) love you Angela!
DeleteThis post couldn't be MORE true! If I didn't know better I would have thought I wrote this myself - between the stupid bath, spray bottle, & pads I thought I was going to lose my mind! And just because there is an adorable baby on my chest it doesn't mean I'm not going to feel what you are doing down there - I almost think that part was worse than the labor itself! And if I had a dollar for everytime I heard "push from your bottom" I could be a millionaire! Great post!
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate to the baby anxiety and you're the first person I've heard who has shared that! My anxiety would sometimes be related to something (i.e. during the first week of my 12-week maternity leave I started to panic about going back to work) but sometimes I would just feel this ever-present anxiety. Made me really feel for people who feel that way all the time!
ReplyDelete-Lisa
Great post!! So so true- I wish someone would have told me about the blood clots. I got out of the shower about 5 hours after delivering my twin boys. I steped out and a huge clot fell to the floor. I called my husband in and it was rolling into the middle section of the floor. We called my nurse and she said "oh that is ok, that is the size of a prune, we get nervous when it is the size of a grapefruit" WHAT?? Just seemed strange to me.
ReplyDeleteI had one too - forgot to post about it! It freaked me out too BUT my nurse told me the grapefruit metaphor before I went to the bathroom for the first time.
DeleteSO TRUE. This post is awesome!! I wish someone would have told me that 1- it was possible to tear your urethra while pushing. Yes, this happened to me. What the heck? And 2- that there is a possibility that your placenta might not come out as a whole. . . aka. . . it takes the Dr FOREVER to get all of my placenta out, little piece by little piece by little piece. Awesome.
ReplyDeleteI had no idea about either thing. How long did it take to deliver your placenta then?!
Deleteyou want hear something weird....with my 1st baby, i totally agree about the contractions...."menstrual cramps?!?!" yeah right...i TOTALLY felt like someone was ripping my uterus in half and the pain of a thousand deaths, i didn't even have anything to compare it too....but then with my 2nd as soon as contractions started i was like "thats what everyone is talking about!!!" they TOTALLY felt like cramps (obviously way way way worse than the regular ones...but still..i totally understood why people would compare). 2 completely different pains for both my labor...really weird.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE your honesty. I had a c-section with my son, so I missed out on the uterus crushing :-) Because of my incision, it took over a week for me to be able to stand up straight. Mesh panties - weirdest stuff I ever saw! I also had a moment of panic. It was a few days after being home, my hubby had to go back to work and I was alone with him for a couple of hours for the first time. I panicked, realizing that this infant was MY responsibility and people would look to me to figure out what was wrong with him. Sure, the hubby helped, but as the mama, you are the first one they turn to. But it soon passed :-)
ReplyDeleteI love this post. It makes me a little nervous remembering all these fun things because I am due in Dec with #2 but "its all worth it" riiiight? I wish someone told me that our lactation consultant was going to be so forward. We had a whole room of visitors on my second day in the hospital and she came and asked my husband to help me get my nipple hard. Literally the most awkward moment of our lives. When we talk about it to this day my face turns bright red.
ReplyDeleteThat is awful and hysterical!! Why would your husband need to help?! Our LC was really forward too - she just grabbed one of my boobs and told me about how to get her to latch!
DeleteI had a c-section with my breech twins at 39 weeks and my uterus was so overdistended that the ob wrenched her shoulder trying to get it to clamp down. The "massages" were horrible. I had very, very heavy bleeding (but my uterus was 49 cm's instead of 40 when I delivered so it makes sense) for 6 weeks. I exclusively nursed/pumped for my duo, and would you believe I got my first period at 7 weeks?! I was so ticked. Another odd thing I experienced, neither kid liked my milk during my cycle. I guess it changed the taste or something. So hopefully Aunt Flo will stay the heck away from you for a good long while!
ReplyDeleteI hope Aunt Flo stays away for a while too! ;)
DeleteHahaha oh yes...to everything! I hate hate hate going to the bathroom still...hate it. I cannot even begin to describe the horrible that happens when I try. I hate that I have to wear pads for another 3 weeks, and the spray bottle is getting so annoying. No one told me any of this! I had third degree tears...which I didn't even know where possible. I would go through labor 50 more times (with an epidural) than have to try to go number 2 ever again for the rest of my life! Boy. You are spot on with all of these haha
ReplyDeleteLove these post! I ended up with a c-section when I had my daughter so I don't know what pushing feels like but oh man those contractions were brutal, I stalled at 8 cm and after 2 hours of being stuck there I finally broke down and got an epidural! and I agree the uterus massage is so, so painful! Also like you I experienced that same baby anxiety too when my daughter was a newborn. It went away eventually.
ReplyDeleteI know it's gross, but pooping post-baby... Completely terrifying.
ReplyDeleteYes! THIS! No one ever mentions the post-labor poo...and constipation...I didn't go for 7 days!!!! I thought I was going to die as I sat on the toilet crying for over THREE HOURS. :(
Deletei'm due in under 5 weeks. glad to know this information, but also now completely petrified!!
DeleteAshley - take stool softners! They helped me and I went on day 4 post labor with no issues at all. Eat lots of fiber and it will help.
DeleteI didn't know about a lot of this--but I think maybe they don't tell you because it would terrify you and it's probably better if you didn't know?
ReplyDeleteThis is what I think. I'm not pregnant but I'm at least two years out from it being a possibility (in grad school) and hearing all of this is just scaring the crap out of me :\
DeleteSC - Sorry to scare you, but I wanted to be honest about all the things that have surprised me. Remember, not all of these things will happen to you - every pregnancy and labor is totally different! And the reward in the end, that sweet baby, makes it all worth it!
DeleteThank you for this...I'm due in two months and trying to gather this sort of info in preparation!! :) Hope everything heals back into place for you super fast!
ReplyDeletei'm totally on board about the uterine massage--i had no drugs of any sort with my daughter (and none with my first son til after he was out, stupid story...) and i will agree that the uterine massaging post-delivery was worth than the two hours i spent pushing cleo out. fortunately it was over a lot faster. i'm glad the tucks pads have done you good! :-) and that nursing-related anxiety is no joke. a huge contributor to my PPD was insomnia, and the cause of my insomnia was almost entirely nursing related. i had a sleepy baby who didn't need to eat that much--i.e., the ideal offspring--and i would lie awake all night, totally freaked out about "hurry up and fall asleep because you have to wake her again in 3 hours!" or "what if you fall asleep and forget to wake her up in 3 hours!" truly, if i knew then what i know now--if they're hungry, they'll eat--i think my whole introduction to motherhood might have been different. i would never have woken my boys to make them eat! alas, they always woke me...
ReplyDeleteOMG, the SPRAY BOTTLE! "Cheap man's bidet" -- I laughed so hard! So, so, so true.
ReplyDeleteThe massages and "after pains" when your uterus contracts while nursing get so much worse with every baby! Apparantly since your uterine muscles are so stretched and have to work much harder. I had no idea. I just had my 3rd and the pain was downright awful!
ReplyDeleteSo true! The pain was much worse the second time for me.
DeleteOh and I couldn't agree more with Lindsey on how terrifying it is to poop...sometimes for weeks!
ReplyDeleteYes! Total anxiety each time for weeks!
DeleteWeirdly enough, I have no memory of uterine massages. But I may have still be traumatized by being stitched up for 45 minutes with no pain meds. I started whimpering from the pain of it by the end.
ReplyDeleteI forgot about the blood clots-- I thought the strawberry sized ones were bad enough and can't imagine what it would be like to pass a grapefruit-sized one!
I have never had a child, so I cannot relate, but I laughed hysterically at your reaction to this stuff. Thanks for posting. It's nice to know what to REALLY expect. :)
ReplyDeleteDude.
ReplyDeleteI CRIED when I had to poop.
Seriously.
What I wish I had known back then was to eat a load of chickpeas. To make it easier, I tried taking senakot stool softener and laxative in one, but it only works for so long.
Also, nobody told me how protective I would be with baby. The nurses would take him away for screening or whatever and I'd freak out.
I would also just hold him while he slept and listen to him breathing, I did that WAYY too often.
Oh the clots. Oh the uterine massage. Oh the healing after stitches. Oh. oh. oh. I do wish I had known about how much after-birth stuff there is to experience. I naively assumed that once the baby was out the hardest part was over. Oh how wrong I was.
ReplyDeleteThankfully a lot of it (except for the after pains) was much better with Baby Number Two and felt a lot more manageable.
The first few poops post-baby were by far the worst part of postpartum for me. It was like my mind was subconsciously processing "the last time you did this, a human came out of you." So I just couldn't do it!
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!
DeleteI can so relate to all this! Another one: how much it HURTS to go to the bathroom post-delivery. Ouch.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading your post, I realized that after my C section, I wasn't given a uterus massage at all!!!! Not complaining. However, since we are expecting #2 (yea 2 under 2!) I am sort of stressing out that they do it differently!
ReplyDeleteI completely understand the night time anxiety. I had it, and when it hit, IT WAS BAD. I vividly remember having these waves of just FEAR at night. I would sweat through my clothes I was so worried!!! It's so REAL and I think I had the same situation, where I skipped over the baby blues and they were replaced with anxiety attacks at night! If my husband had seen me up all night freaking out he probably would've slipped some xanax in my ice cream or something!
Anywho congratulations on your beautiful baby girl I was so excited to see the post that she was here!! :) Come over here to www.birminghambell.com if you wanna watch someone else get REALLY ROUND really fast lol!
-Bell
I love your new design! I was going to mention that NO ONE EVER told me how incontinent you can be after giving birth. DS was posterior and did quite a number on that teeny tiny part of me and wow I peed my pants a few times!
ReplyDelete