On Crying

I have a confession to make: I have a low tolerance for crying.

I should clarify that I mean I have a low tolerance for crying in children. Adults don't bother me at all because most have the social skills and maturity to choose appropriate places and times to lose their crap. And most of the time they are easier to console. And they can wipe their own snotty nose with a tissue. But I digress...

I have a low tolerance for crying children. It doesn't matter if it's a legitimate cry because the child is hungry or tired or scared or hurt, or it's one of those vicious toddler tantrums, I cannot handle the sound of crying for very long. Maybe this is because I am an only child and never had to hear a sibling cry. Maybe it is because I don't like children being unhappy (then again who does?). Whatever the reason, I internally freak out when a child cries more than a minute or two. 

Going into parenthood, I knew that this was going to be a big hurdle for me.

Brighton cried immediately upon birth as most (if not all) babies do. I probably would have too - she left a soothing environment and was yanked naked and covered in goo into a freezing cold room where the noise and chaos were at an all time high. She continued to cry until they placed her naked body on my chest, but as soon as she was taken from me to get cleaned up she started crying again. She cried a ton during her first bath in the hospital nursery, she cried every time her diaper was changed and she cried the whole morning before she had to get a catheter because she was having a hard time passing urine (she's fine now).

When we left the hospital the constant crying continued - unless she was asleep or nursing she was crying. And it drove me crazy.

I knew the wa-wa-wa-wa sound was hunger, but every other kind of cry I couldn't figure out. Was she tired? (Aren't all babies tired all the time?) Was she too cold or too hot? Did she need a diaper change? Who the heck knew?!? The first two weeks was a cluster you know what. I worried that she had colic, or gas, or wasn't getting enough milk. After a couple of days I started to cry when she cried. I developed post-partum anxiety (PPD's less popular cousin) and would start panicking and crying every night around 8pm even even she wasn't crying, anticipating her crying later that night. I was a hot mess.

Then right after she had her one month birthday the constant crying stopped. She still cried if I didn't feed her quick enough or if she was overtired, but now when she was awake she was smiling and calm. She didn't cry when she had a dirty diaper or even when it was time to take a nap. She seemed like she was turning into a happy baby and I thanked my lucky stars and God that I could start to enjoy my daughter.

At almost 6 months old, Brighton has stayed true to the demeanor we saw develop in her fourth week of life - she is easygoing, happy and mostly calm. She has had only a handful of massive meltdowns (where she cried really hard for longer than 5 minutes) and it's always been in the car when she is overtired and ready to get out of the seat or when she has missed a nap. I still freak out when she cries though. I just try not to show it!

Although my baby is pretty chill, I know my low tolerance for crying is going to still be something I need to work on because:

- Brighton has a serious set of lungs on her. She can wail like nobody's business - head pitched back, face bright red and huge tears running down her face as a sound louder than a siren comes out of her tiny mouth.

- I've already seen a glimpse of what a real tantrum is going to look like. Brighton has begun to protest cry when she doesn't want to nap or doesn't want to be put down. In fact a few weeks ago I went grocery shopping and had her in the carrier so I could use the whole cart. After I checked out and packed up the car, I unsnapped the carrier and started to load her into the car seat and she looked at me, stuck out her bottom lip and started whining at me loudly!

- She has started teething AND showing signs of stranger anxiety.

P.S. Here is a little video of my happy baby going from laughter to crying in a few seconds. She was so tired and had just eaten and was ready to go to bed. That little bottom lip poking out just kills me!

Brighton's Mood Swing (Jan 2013) from Kara on Vimeo.

Does anyone else have a low tolerance for crying, or is it just me?