Adventures in B-Feeding: Weaning

For the last 22 months, my body has not been my own. From pregnancy, until one week ago, my body was shared by my child, first in utero, then through nursing for the last 12 months. I was so fearful of breastfeeding before I tried it. I nursed Brighton exclusively until she was almost 7 months old. After I went back to work, my supply dropped, partially due to the stress of being away from her, partially because pumping in a supply closet was demoralizing and depressing, and partially because my body simply couldn’t keep up with her. After a month of trying everything under the sun to get my supply back up, I made the decision to stop killing myself, and supplement with formula. I went from nursing 5 times a day on the weekends, and nursing twice and pumping 3-4 times during the week, to just a morning and evening nursing session, with bottles of formula in between.

 

Around 10 months, I dropped the night nursing session and replaced it with a bottle, in order to give myself a bit more freedom and also to allow someone else to put my daughter to bed at night. We continued to nurse in the morning, but each week she seemed less interested in it, less eager to snuggle in with me, I would have to coax her each day to nurse, entice her with a toy to hold, or offer it multiple times to get her to take anything from me. It was a frustrating process for both of us, and a week after her first birthday, I discussed the situation with Matt and he encouraged me to do what I thought would be best for both of us.

 

So this past Monday morning, simply didn’t offer her the option to nurse. I woke up at 7am, made a bottle (half formula, half whole milk – we are also making the move to whole milk from formula, slowly but surely), and brought her into our bed, her warm back leaning against my chest, her “lovie” blanket still clutched in her hands, and gave her a bottle. She didn’t protest, whine or cry. She quietly laid back against me and drank her milk. When she was done, she sat up, burped quietly, then turned around to face me and wrapped her arms around my neck for a hug. It was so sweet.

 

It was a relief to see her adapt so quickly to this new routine, and she has not shown any distress or signs of wanting to nurse since that first day. It confirms what I had been feeling for the last few months – my daughter was ready to be more independent and let this go. I feel so good about this decision, as it gives her what she needs, but also provides me the opportunity to not be the only person in her life to provide her with her morning feeding.

 

Brighton is weaned and I am so thankful I had the opportunity to nurse my daughter for as long as I did. It was one of the most difficult tasks of motherhood, but it was also incredibly rewarding. I made it 12 months and I’m proud of my accomplishment, and also so thankful for the invention of formula which gave my daughter what I couldn’t for the last 5 months.

 

For my other posts on breastfeeding, click here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.