On My Heart: Influence

In 2012, when the first Influence Conference came and went, I watched from afar and prayed for the leaders, hoping that it would go off without a hitch. I read some of the recaps from bloggers, looked at some of the Instagram pictures and made a mental note to consider going the next year. It seemed like a lot of fun and so many women said how much of an impact it had on their lives.

The tickets went on sale for the 2013 conference and I continued to consider it, but as more time went by, I mentally talked myself out of it. We had a new baby and I couldn’t imagine leaving her behind, even though she would have been over a year old at the time. We had financial goals to save for another home, to stock away more savings for emergencies and vacations. I made my excuses: I was not a big blogger, or a business owner, or crafty, or an expert on anything. Why would I need to go to a blogging conference?

But then in the days leading up to the conference, I found myself checking the speaker schedule, and reading tweets and feeling a twinge of envy mixed in with a healthy dose of regret. I should have bought my ticket, I should have been there.

Over the last year and a half, I have felt the overwhelming stagnancy of my heart, feeling as though I have lost a part of my voice in both my online world and the everyday world I live in. I am a storyteller and I felt like I had no stories left to tell. I am an encourager and I felt I had no hopeful words to share anymore. These were all lies I told myself because I felt small and insignificant in comparison to everyone else around me who from the outside looked successful and influential and put-together and accomplished.

I will probably never be a “big” blogger and maybe never have any of my real writing published, or start my own advice column; but I am called to tell my stories and to be an influence wherever I live, both here on the world wide web and in my sphere of every day real life. I wished I had attended the conference the last two years and become part of this network of women who want the same things I want – to make their online and everyday life mean something more.

So this year instead of wishing, I am doing. Tickets to the 2014 Influence Conference went on sale this week and I bought my ticket without knowing how much a flight or hotel will cost, or who I will room with, or who I will meet. I’m nervous and excited and a little overwhelmed, but I also know that investing in my heart and my influence is never a bad thing.

Influence Conference 2014 here I come. Who's with me?