I have a parenting confession to make: I still rock my daughter to sleep.
Matt does it as well. We can't help ourselves. We alternate who puts her to bed each night and both of us take the time to hold her in the dark and quiet of her room, her blankies or a stuffed animal tucked under her arm, and rock, rock, rock her into a peaceful sleep. Sometimes it takes only a few minutes, sometimes it's an hour, but when I can, I hold her until she is heavy in my arms.
She likes to sit on my lap, facing me, and lay her little head on my chest, the crook of my arm holding her just so. She lets me pray over her, sing a soft song into her ear, and then I rock and kiss her forehead and rub her back and stroke her hair. She settles in and her body relaxes and her breathing slows. This is the time of day when I feel the most at ease - my daughter in my arms, her sweet breath on my face, the smell of her hair so close. There is something magical about a sleeping child.
No matter how hard I try, I cannot break this habit. Laying her down awake brings racking sobs and standing in her crib, her arms outstretched to the door, calling for us over and over. Time goes by too fast and before I know it she will be asking for me to give her space, to not kiss her goodbye in front of her friends, to wait in the car. She needs and wants us now and I will gladly give her my time and my arms every night until she tells me otherwise.
I don't know if this will create some sort of habit I will have to work hard to break. I don't know if this will mean she'll be 8 and fighting to find space in my lap for me to hold her. Frankly I don't care. She might be the only child we have the privilege of ever raising and these moments where she needs us, and wants us, and finds comfort in our arms is probably one of the most precious and special times of my life.
I will rock her to sleep until she goes off to college if she'll let me. I just love her that much.
I LOVE this and I feel the same way. Why give up something you both love and benefit from? Keep on rocking, mama.
ReplyDeleteYour parenting confession is mine as well!! We had Elle 'sleep trained' to be placed in her crib awake for all of about one month before she reverted back to crying and standing up. Once she's asleep from rocking, I tip toe to her 'big girl bed' and lay her down. It truly is magical, isn't it??!
ReplyDeleteWhen I had my first, everyone told me to put him down. But I couldn't. I continued to hold him, rock him, and let him sleep on me as long as he wanted to. He's 8 now. He won't hug or kiss me goodbye in front of friends, and I get only vague details of his day at school. But he still occasionally asks me to lie with him at night and I still do. I know he won't need this soon, because I see the signs of his growing up and away from me. So I will cuddle him as long as he will let me.
ReplyDeleteI did the same.. I must have rocked my baby to sleep until he was 2. Every.single.night. and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world!
ReplyDeleteAs long as it's ok with YOU, I think it's great! I got to where I dreaded bed times and couldn't go anywhere at night because my first had to be rocked. So I sleep trained with him and then the other two too. BUT, I rocked LOTS when it wasn't bed time or night time. LOTS!! We read and rocked all throughout the day. I wanted a *simple* bedtime routine and the rocking was taking an hour sometimes….like you said. That being said, I am a firm believer in no judging when it comes to parenting! If you want to rock….ROCK ON!
ReplyDeleteEven though I have two babies now, (my first Lucy is close to Brighton's age, she'll be two next month) I still often rock Lucy to sleep. Or Darin or I lay with her on her twin bed until she goes to sleep. I never even thought of that as being undesirable. It's just necessary and so so sweet. Having a second one doesn't change that, how endeared you are to your first, with that vast love that is absolutely infinite. When I rock her and sing to her, remembering her round baby face, aghast at how time has passed so quickly, there is this feeling that rises up in my chest of the purest love I could have ever imagined. It often makes me cry. I don't care if I miss nights out on the town or any other thing, I will be there for my baby's bedtime while they are still so little, and I cherish that time with every fiber of my being.
ReplyDeleteBedtime is my fav time of day too! With our first daughter (who is now 4) we rocked her to sleep until she was 2 1/2 and our second daughter (who is 16 months) we still rock her to sleep every single night and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon! Love those snuggles and it wasn't a hard habit to break! Enjoy every single snuggle!!!
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