Matt is in Salt Lake City snowboarding and visiting our friends Tim and Jen until Wednesday, and I am having the hardest time sleeping by myself. I'm not afraid, or wary of being alone in this house because my dog is on alert almost all night, sleeping lightly at the end of our bed, facing the door, growling at every little sound outside. So I am protected by her, our alarm and God - I can't sleep because it's too quiet. Matt makes all these funny little noises in his sleep and his tossing and turning are a comfort. Funny the things we get used to in marriage.
This weekend was filled with lots of girl time in Matt's absence - Friday night at Dean & Deluca with Beth, Saturday lunch with Jessica and Saturday night with Laura running errands to Target. Sunday was church, visiting my parents, and a Superbowl party at Dawn & Owen's with "the gang" (i.e. Beth, Paul, their boys Noah and Jakob, Dar, Laura, their son Hudson, Lorean, David, their daughter Micah, David and Meredith, Joy, Joanna, Dawn, Owen, their daughter Lily and me). I love my friends. Matt and I are so blessed to have all these darling people in our lives.
Confession: My arms are aching for my baby. I'll admit that it's getting harder and harder to hold my friend's kids and not feel a deep, overwhelming longing in my heart for my child. Where are you Baby M? It's almost been a year since we started this process, 45 weeks to be exact. I feel past my due date, pregnant in my heart for so long now. When will this journey end?
Lord give me your patience and grace. I'm hanging on by a thread this week. I want my kid to come home.
You're in my thoughts and prayers today. It is a different kind of waiting, and especially harder that you don't have a hard and fast "DUE DATE." Lord, give Kara grace to make it through THIS day with your strength, and continue to hold TOMORROW in your hands. And send Baby M home in your perfect time (but soon, we can pray that, right?!).
ReplyDeleteI love you
ReplyDeleteBaby M come home!!!!! We are all waiting with you!
ReplyDeleteI love you Kara.
ReplyDelete(((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteBeautiful friend,
ReplyDeleteYour blog touched the most tender parts of my heart today. Matt and I tried for years before we got pregnant and I know the feeling of "pregnant in my heart for so long now" so very well. Then, when I was pregnant with Jack, I went 3 weeks overdue. I, of course, knew that he couldn't stay in there forever but not knowing when this abstract, unseen person who I already loved more than I could express would come would overwhelm me regularly.
All of my prayers are for you and for your perfectly made child that God Himself has chosen and formed with you and Matt in mind.
Baby M is coming home, and what a glorious homecoming it wil be, friend.
All my love and prayers,
Meghan
I want you to know you are in our prayers daily. May God continue to bless you and your husband with the patience, faith, hope and strength you both need. I think the hardest trials in life are those trials that we can’t see the end of. They require the most faith and trust in the Lord and the most help from God and others. I know you have a lot of friends and family but if there is anything we can do to help other than keeping you in our prayers please don’t hesitate to ask.
ReplyDelete-Jon
i want YOUR baby! one thing i know about myself is that i am so emotional and i can really feel your pain. it is one of those "not fair" things in life. one of these days, we can ask these questions of the Great I AM! thinking of you...praying for you!
ReplyDelete-E
(Big HUG)
ReplyDeleteLove you, sissy.
Love you so much friend. Baby m is just growing and getting all ready to come home to you!
ReplyDeleteHi, new reader here. I think it's AMAZING what you two are doing with adopting. :)
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