We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world.

Quote by Helen Keller

All day today, as I struggled through my haze of thoughts and heartache, I kept hearing the serenity prayer over and over in my head. My best friend Crystal's mom, Jane, who served as a second mama to me all these years, taught me this prayer one summer at her beach house:


God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.

I had heard the prayer before Jane repeated the words, and although it was only one small part of our conversation all those years ago, her way of saying that prayer stuck with me all these years. She emphasized that wisdom is the saving grace in all of this - God's wisdom. The kind of wisdom that stands on its own, that brings peace that passes all understanding. You see, Jane has a resiliency I admire, an attitude of joy and patience, a loving and kind heart to all. I love her, and her equally resilient daughter, so very much.


From left, Roger, Jane, June-bug (baby), Crystal, Greenlee and Garrett. Amazing family.

This prayer is what helped me today, remembering that all I have to do is ask God to either change my circumstances or change my heart. He granted me the serenity to accept that there is nothing I can do to change me not being a mama today. I've done all I can, Matt has done all he can. All we can do now is wait. With grace. With patience. With bravery and faith and wisdom.

P.S. Thanks Jane. I love you.
P.P.S. Thank you to all the friends and co-workers who took the time to reach out and give a kind word, email or text. You're the best. Seriously.