On September 13th, the North Carolina Legislature proposed an amendment to the state Constitution that would ban legal recognition for all unmarried couples, both heterosexual and homosexual, and strip protections and benefits from families across our state who are unmarried or single parents, including those who are widows and widowers.
As an FYI, a law banning same-sex marriage has already been in effect for the last 16 years here; however this amendment would continue to uphold that law, as well as further strip the LGBT community of their rights to be recognized as a family or partnership.
Yesterday was an epic day in my home state of North Carolina. Yesterday, our state’s citizens had a chance to vote for or against this amendment. I voted against the amendment, but too many in my state voted for it. The amendment passed and I am heartbroken and sad for my fellow citizens and ashamed at the ignorance of all who voted for it.
Similar amendments have passed in 30 other states in the U.S. Our President has spoken out against amendments like this because they are discriminatory and the downstream impacts are devastating.
If you have read my blog for anytime now, you know that I am a Christian and have an active relationship with God. The Bible is the guide for my every day life, and I believe that the Holy Spirit, who God left for us on the earth to help us, lives in my heart.
And my heart told me that this amendment is wrong.
Jesus said to love God and love your neighbor. I don’t believe this amendment is the demonstration of loving my brothers and sisters – this is hatred and discrimination, plain and simple.
And before all you other Christians attack me, I fully acknowledge that the Bible states that homosexuality is a sin. But it also states that a lot of other things are sinful – adultery, divorce, anger, murder, not following the law of the land, hatred, jealousy, drunkenness, lust… I could go on and on. Why is the state writing laws that only discriminate against those who are, according to the Christian community, “sinning” in a more public way?
Gay marriage is already illegal in our state and this amendment is just shooting an already dead horse. Gay marriage doesn’t threaten non-gay marriage – there are already enough factors like a 50% plus divorce rate doing that, among both Christian and non-Christian marriages.
Furthermore, when did Christianity become the basis for how our government make decisions? Yes I know the U.S. Constitution had some biblical foundations, but we can no longer call ourselves a Christian nation – our country has too many non-Christian and non-religious members to validate that we continue to make laws based on only one religion. The government should not be in the business of deciding who can and cannot marry – if someone wants a civil union, let them have it! If the church doesn’t want to recognize it, fine, but don’t mix church and state for just this one item when we separate it so much for other important and critical issues in our society.
I’m so sad today that my state passed this amendment. I am heartbroken for the members of my community, some who already feel shamed and isolated for their lifestyle choices, to feel further separated and discriminated against.
For my LGBT brothers and sisters, and my unmarried and single parent friends - I want you to know that I love you and I am sorry that this has transpired.
For the lawmakers of North Carolina - Please separate church and state. Please repeal Amendment One.
Amen, Kara!! Beautiful written. Such a devastating outcome for so many families.
ReplyDeleteso beautifully written. I too am a christian but have close gay relatives. I have such a hard time with this. thanks for taking the time to broach this difficult subject.
ReplyDeletexo,
Haley
This is so well-written. I feel the same way that you do, and it breaks my heart to see how quick to judge and discriminate many Christians are. Thanks for writing a thoughtful and truth-filled response to this tragedy.
ReplyDeleteAmen. Couldnt have said it better. Unfortunately, they keep referring to it as "the gay marriage" ruling, but they really needed to look into teh trickle down effects that you posted. There are more heterosexual DPs and CUs than there are gay ones, so they are imapcting THEIR benefits, medical, etc. They effectively said "you arent a family if you arent married, so you and your kids get nothing." Its disheartening and dissapointing. When will people realize that its not ok for a majority to decide the rules for a minority based on the Bible?
ReplyDeleteI totally agree, Kara, and thank you for talking about it.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Kara. I was so saddened to hear of the ammendment's passing. First of all, I agree that the bible should have no bearing on how our gov't runs things, and second I believe it is taken too literally. Third, I severely begin to doubt someone who says they're Christian and votes for this type of thing. To me, being Christian should be about loving more and judging less. I'm all for the sanctity of marriage...except not in the way ppl who voted for the ammendment would think. Marriage should be sacred in that it is not taken lightly, it is forever, it is loving, and it is whole. The people who have ruined the sanctity of marriage sure aren't the ones fighting for the right to be recognized with their partner. If you don't like something don't do it....don't make it do that nobody else can do it. That just doesn't make sense. So sad ;(
ReplyDeleteAmen! Well said. Good for you for speaking out.
ReplyDeleteSo beautifully written. I have read it three or four times. I puts everything I feel right there in words. You really couldn't have said it any better.
ReplyDeleteI hope you don't mind me sharing this post on my FB page. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteI only disagree with you on one point. If this decision had been based upon the Bible, upon the teaching of Jesus, the amendment would not have passed. This decision may have been based upon Christian tradition, but it was not based upon the Bible. Jesus taught that the greatest commandment, the summary of the law, is to love God and to love your neighbor. As you stated, there is nothing loving about robbing a child of medical care. It is so sad to me that so many are so grossly misrepresenting the God of the Bible. Our challenge to demonstrate the God of Love to the world seems to grow every day. When we claim that the prejudice and hatred of others is supported by the Bible, we just reiterate their claims. I think it's important to distinguish between those claiming Christian tradition and those who are actually living their lives based upon the priciples that Jesus taught. I'm glad you called attention to this issue.
ReplyDeleteGood distinction there - you clarified exactly what I meant. It's tradition, not Bible. Thank you for pointing that out for all of us.
DeleteAgreed. Wonderful words.
ReplyDeleteThis is the first time I have ever commented on a blog (honestly!). Thank you for writing such a lovely post. As a fellow Christian that also voted against amendment one, I struggle to adequately express my opinion. Your words are eloquent and capture my thoughts. Keep writing and I will keep reading.
ReplyDeleteI've never commented before but read your blog often.
ReplyDeleteThis post is the best thing you've ever written.
Thank you :)
Deletebeautifully written!
ReplyDeleteI must admit that sometimes it worries me when I read this in the newspapers (Being in the Netherlands).
When I read it, it makes me afraid that all americans view these political issues in a certain way. (even though of course I know that there are many opinions on this topic)
But reading your wonderful post, were you express your opinions in such a adequate way, gives me hope!
Marriage and love should (need!) to be supported equally!
FABULOUS post. I am so thrilled to hear the words you have written. As a Canadian living in the US I was so sad to hear of the outcome of this vote. To be honest - I was in disbelief. Shocked and ashamed that the majority of people in one state could vote in favour of what I see is pure and total discrimination. Thank you for your words. Praying that this is repealed.
ReplyDeletei have followed your blog for a long time without commenting, though i came very close when your adoption failed and i felt such sorrow for you and for baby M. today, though, i feel like i have to share how very much this post means to me and how grateful i am that you shared it. i am not a christian, and i will confess that when i saw the title of this post i feared it would be the standard anti-gay, "pro-family" line, but as i read i felt my heart lighten with every word to be reminded that there are christian people out there who don't buy into the hatred or the discrimination, and who don't subscribe to the "this is a christian nation" philosophy. many times, i have allowed old hurts and misunderstandings to close my mind, and i have used the judgment and intolerance of other people to rationalize my own. thank you for reassuring me that there are compassionate and open-minded people of all philosophies out there, and for helping me work harder to be one of them.
ReplyDeleteVikki - Your comment made me cry a little! You have inspired me and encouraged me. A lot of my fellow Christians do not agree with me at all, and feel that this post was out of line. I felt too passionate about this to be quiet on the matter.
DeleteThank you for taking the time to comment and to express your views. God Bless You!
And here is another Christian that feels the same as you! I, too, initially thought the post was going to be along the same lines as the original commenter and was happy to see otherwise. It gives me hope, even as a Christian, that I am not alone in my feelings!
DeleteI am with Vikki. I have followed your blog for almost a year now and was afraid to click in the post because I expected a narrow viewpoint based on the Christians I know and I was blown away. Thank you for your honesty in this post.I feel like there is such a disconnect between the way some believers act and the way the man the supposedly follow actually lived. His love and lack of malace drew people and I think that element is so often missing. What an amazing example to set for your unborn little one!
ReplyDeleteAmen, Kara, amen.
ReplyDeleteAs a Christian, I struggle with these issues. Just because I get my sense of purpose and morality from my religion, does not mean that my religion should dictate others' lives.
ReplyDeleteI could not have said it better myself. Thank you.
You should send this to the State lawmakers. Excellent post!
ReplyDeleteJust ran across this post. It's as if you put words to everything I felt in the wake of amendment one, but could not clearly express.
ReplyDelete