So if you haven't already - please read part 1.
The crazies are out in droves! Here are some of the insane conversations I have had over the last few months since my belly has "popped". (I am not exaggerating or making any of this up. This is what really happened/was said).
Scene 1
At work, involving two middle aged women on my floor who power walk at lunch (they wear their clunky white sneakers with their business casual outfits). They are waiting in the elevator bank to go downstairs and I walk up to wait for the elevator with them.
Woman 1 - Looking at my belly. "Oh! How far along are you?"
Me - "I'm due August 8, so I have a little over 2 months to go."
Woman 1 - Smiles and starts to say "Congratulations" but is cut off by Woman 2 who says with a shocked look on her face, "You are way too big to be due in August! Are you sure there's only one in there?"
Me - I stand there stunned for a second then this slips out of my mouth, "Yes there is only one. That REALLY hurt my feelings."
Woman 1 and 2 react to my statement with open mouths, then just stand there, awkwardly looking at the elevator doors and each other. We all get into the elevator and ride to the lobby in total silence! (You would think Woman 2 would have said sorry, but she didn't say a word.)
As the elevator doors open, Woman 1 sheepishly smiles at me and says, "Well, good luck!"
Scene 2
At work, about to introduce an executive speaker (who I know really well) at a training event and he is standing next to me, almost shoulder to shoulder, in front of the group as they get seated.
Executive - Leans over and asks quietly, "How far along are you again?"
Me - "I'm 34 weeks. So 6 weeks to go."
Executive - Looks over my shoulder and scans my backside, then scans the front of my body. "Yeah, you look good! Really fit."
Me - "Um... thanks." (And I turn bright red and die a thousand deaths.)
Scene 3
At a movie premier for my friend's film. An old friend of ours comes up and hugs me hello.
Old Friend - "Oh, you are so cute! You're all belly and your face isn't fat at all. Let me see your butt."
Me - Laughing at her comment about my face, "HA! Wait, what?"
Before I can even process what she asked, Old Friend grabs my arm and turns me so she can look at my butt and says, "Yep you don't even look pregnant from behind!"
Me - I keep laughing (I'm so shocked) and say "Thank you".
Scene 4
At Target, printing off my gift log (so I can see what else I need to get off my registry), when a random guy comes up to me with a cup of frozen yogurt in his hand.
Random Guy - "Looks like mama is hot. Baby needs some frozen yogurt." He then takes a bite of his yogurt.
Me - "Huh? Um, yeah. It's really hot outside." (It was 105 degrees that day).
Random Guy - "So baby definitely needs some frozen yogurt."
Me - Awkwardly pausing and looking at the registry screen, I nod and murmur, "Ok."
Random Guy - Still looking at me and says, "You should really get some. It's across the street. It's really good."
Me - "Yeah, I'll do that. Thanks."
Random Guy - "Bye now." And walks away.
Scene 5
At my family baby shower talking to two of my female family members.
Family Member 1 - "You're breastfeeding right?"
Me - "Yeah I'm going to try it."
1 - "Good for you. But if it doesn't work out or you hate it, that's ok too. Don't beat yourself up over your decisions."
Family Member 2 - "I heard breastfeeding really hurts."
1 - "It can as you are getting used to it, but it's worth it. I say give it at least 6 weeks before you make a decision."
2 - "But I heard it like REALLY hurts. Like you can get bloody nipples or clogged ducts and you have to use cabbage leaves in your bra. And it hurts to pump too. Right? But what do I know? I don't have kids."
1 - "Um...."
Me - (long pause while trying to figure out how to get out of the conversation) "Excuse me, I need to go to the ladies room."
Ok, fellow preggos - what are your awkward stories? Leave them in the comments!
Ha, I had the rude 'are you sure there's only one baby in there?' comment. And I was only 7 months! People say stupid things to pregnant people. No 4 had me loling though....
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh this is amazing to me. I haven't had any awkward moments so far (granted I just graduated and am not currently employed, so I'm home more), none that stick out to me, but dang, it seems they are coming at you from all angles. So weird how people feel that once a person becomes pregnant they can say/do anything to them. Blows my mind.
ReplyDeletean old italian lady from my husband's side, who i don't know but was invited by my mother-in-law, came up to say hello at the baby shower and asked if i was having a girl or boy. when i said boy she looked really sorry for me and said something along the lines of how it would be okay and oh well there's always another chance with a second baby. i just thanked her for coming and sent her on her way. you can blame alot on age but sometimes, i just don't know...
ReplyDeleteI can't believe the woman in the first story didn't apologize!
ReplyDeleteI have a co-worker who keeps asking why I'm keeping the baby all to myself and that she wants to hold it. Umm, random? I still have 3 months to go...she will stay cooking thank you very much! Same co-worker also randomly touched my belly when I was barely showing and said something about how cute my belly was. Her hands had just been holding trash. Gross.
Totally gross! I can't believe she touched you!
DeleteUmm... When James and I were in NYC, there was a guy dressed as Elmo in times square. I wanted to get a picture with Elmo for Adoration. As im facing James, smiling for the picture, Elmo starts slowly leaning in close and moves his hand onto my belly right when James snaps the picture. James yells at him to stop being creepy and face the camera. Soooo gross and creepy!
ReplyDeleteI know that Elmo! He is always there in Times Square. What a creepo!
DeleteI am 22 weeks along, carrying all in front, and I don't look very big at all. Someone at work told me she didn't want to say anything to me about being pregnant because I look so small that she thought I had a miscarriage. Moron.
ReplyDeleteYou should watch the movie "Away We Go"- in the story, the girl gets told over and over that she's "too big" to still have 2 months to go. You might get some laughs of the awkward pregnancy comments :P
ReplyDeleteOH MY GOSH! I can't believe that woman didn't apologize. The frozen yogurt one creeped me out! Haha.
ReplyDeleteI'm 26, but I always get mistaken for being a teenager. It gets old after a while, but even moreso when I was pregnant, OMG. I was at Hallmark buying Mother's Day cards when the sales associate asked me when I was due. I told her July. She smiled and said, "I'm so glad you'll be delivering when school is out so you won't miss too much and will be able to finish high school."
ACK.
Or the lady on the same shopping trip at Yankee Candle who came up to me asked if my mother was being supportive, seeing as how when you're a teenager your boyfriend never sticks around when he says he will.
Or about a month earlier I was at a deli with my mom having lunch and went to use the restroom. Some woman saw me washing my hands, sighed and said "so young. And you're married, too? So sad!" and walked away.
So sad but also hysterical! Did you correct any of those ladies?
DeleteI don't know how you handled that, but I would've yelled at all those people! hah.. good thing I'm not pregnant yet, I am going to be pretty cranky.
Deletei have been told that i was both too BIG and too SMALL for my due date within the same week--but truly, "are you sure there's only one in there?" must be the stupidest of all pregnancy cliches. practically every pregnant woman hears it at some point--people must just have no idea what a pregnant woman really looks like.
ReplyDeletemy most mortifying moment came during my first pregnancy, when i was also (naturally, never having been pregnant before) having the most trouble adjusting to my new size. a woman in my writer's group greeted my ultrasound pictures with horror--i think she said my daughter looked like an alien--and then, when i mentioned my due date, she gasped and threw up her hands and said--and this is a direct quote, the words are seared into my memory for eternity--"oh my goodness you are much too big and FAT, what have you been eating, nothing but chocolate ganache?"
i have no idea what i said to that. i think i kind of blacked out.
I cannot believe she said that!!!! How awful. I'm convinced there is a special place in hell reserved for those who criticize a pregnant woman's looks!
DeleteOH MY GOODNESS!!!! i'm truly shocked!!
Deleteseriously? how awful! I am shocked. How did you hold back? I would had been in tears...
DeleteI had a woman at Harris Teeter try to criticize me for buying beer during my last pregnancy. Hello! Not everyone who lives in this household is pregnant. Can we shop for other people?
ReplyDeleteThis round, when we told my in laws at 12 WEEKS we were pregnant, she told me that when she saw me 6 weeks PRIOR she had told my father in law she thought I looked pregnant. 6 weeks pregnant and she thought I was fat already? And she felt the need to tell me? Needless to say she got crossed off the favorite in law list.
I swear people have no filter these days!
I had the same issue buying wine for a party - I got the dirtiest looks from the cashier. Ridiculous! And I cannot believe your MIL!!
DeleteI have like a 2 day memory span right now, so I can't remember pregnant examples, but my baby has two teeth now (10 months) and I can't believe how many people will say to me, "I guess you're not nursing anymore because I see some teeth in there!"
ReplyDeleteAlso my mom said to me last week, "We didn't want to tell you at the time but you looked so funny when you were pregnant because you gained so much weight!" Uhh...gained 35 pounds bringing me to a maximum weight of 140. I looked totally normal. I was so offended!
I don't remember having any comments like that when I was pregnant with my son, thank goodness! It really blows my mind how tactless some people can be!
ReplyDeleteSo, I had the whole strangers touching my belly thing but by far the worst "dude, really?" comment was when I was at a running race and a woman asked me how far along I was (I forget but somewhere around 25-30 weeks) and then told me I was going to kill my baby and that I needed to take being pregnant more seriously. Um. I'm not even kidding. And for the record I'm an avid runner and it's a very natural thing for me, pregnant or not.
ReplyDeleteAnother memorable moment was when I was very newly pregnant and we were visiting friend of a friend who had just had a baby and someone asked her how the delivery went and she said "I can't talk about it if she's pregnant, it was horrible and I don't want to scare her."
Ummmm lady THAT scared me! She could have just said "it was fine" or "oh, it was hard but I got through it" Then her redneck husband walks in and says "honey tell them about the blood transfusion you needed bc you lost so much blood!!" mm hmm. Yup. Awesome.
My delivery was nothing like hers and nothing even close to horrible though, it was hard, but it was wonderful ;) yours will be too! And those ladies who said you were too big for one baby are clearly idiots - literally every woman is a different size and if they know anything they should know that.
Oh my word. How insane about the blood transfusion. People like to tell their horror stories don't they?!
DeleteMy favorite comments that came to me were the unsolicited medical advice. I was on a charity bike ride when I was probably 4 months along and I still had to tell people I was pregnant, it wasn't obvious. But it was a long ride and you end up making small talk with other riders, so I mentioned it to someone who looked like he could be my grandfather (albeit overweight, unhealthy grandfather riding a recumbent) and he said, "You are pregnant? Are you watching your salt intake?" I don't know why that one stuck with me, but it did. I think I replied, "No, my doctor didn't mention to me that I needed to watch my salt intake, not sure why you would." Although the last part, was probably just in my head. I know I also wanted to say, "You look to be in the correct demographic for hypertension, are you watching your salt intake?" Why do people just decide to give you random medical advice? I hated that part of being pregnant.
ReplyDeletei've gotten "are you sure there's only one" question three times already and i'm barely 26 weeks. it's like they don't realize i'm 5'3'' and there's only really one way for the baby to go... and it's out.
ReplyDeleteugh the end of pregnancy comments are so annoying (usually)
ReplyDeleteI found from 36 weeks on I almost wanted to punch every person who said a word. If I heard " woah bout to pop!" one more time I felt like I was going to shoot fire out of my eyes :) hahah
best comment I got (I was overdue I think) "you got a daddy for that baby?" this said by an older creepy man at a rest stop!! hahahaha I almost fell over and ran at the same time. I tried to avoid the public once I was overdue, the comments made me feel worse. Except for the occasional sweet people who complimented me ;) (those were usually from friends)
I hate the twins question! I gained a lot of weigth with both of my pregnancies and usually look really big so I get the twins comment ALL THE TIME!! Drives me crazy! Before my son was born, I worked in a doctor's office with all male doctors. One asked me if I was twins. He has 4 kids, you'd think he'd know better. Our pastor asked me that too. It's almost worse when women say it though.
ReplyDeleteWe were at a farewell party for one of our co-workers when one person in my team grabbed my boobs and says, "your boobs look so good, they are so round and full. I bet your husband is enjoying them"... I was so embarrassed,not to mention it is completely inappropriate. Since then, I have been avoided her. I am sure I am not the only one who thinks this is rude.
ReplyDeleteThat was so rude!! I would have smacked her hands away.
DeleteAt a family party we had 3 pregnant women. A family friend walks up to one and says "you are so much bigger than the other ladies, and they're farther along?" Poor girl, I could tell she wanted to run away!
ReplyDeletePeople are so surprisingly rude when you're pregnant, one coworker said the same thing EVERY Monday..."Wow, you really popped over the weekend." I HATED her!
At a family party we had 3 pregnant women. A family friend walks up to one and says "you are so much bigger than the other ladies, and they're farther along?" Poor girl, I could tell she wanted to run away!
ReplyDeletePeople are so surprisingly rude when you're pregnant, one coworker said the same thing EVERY Monday..."Wow, you really popped over the weekend." I HATED her!
Hi! new to your blog :) I hope I can stay with you for a long time :)
ReplyDeleteI am not pregnant.. but would like to be some time soon :)
However I already have a belly, I have always had a small belly and last year has been very hard on us (family&health issues) so anxiety made me gain more weight and I have a belly. I am not incredibly fat...but I could well be 3 months pregnant. At least what my cousins showed when they were 3 months (very little, these lucky girls :) )
So...as happy as I would be if I got pregnant I am already dreading the comments people will make...and I am still not there..
(very nice blog :))
I can't help but shake my head at the lack of tact people seem to approach pregnant ladies with. I mean really, what is that all about!? Its the same with people who just go up and touch the bump. I think that is the strangest and most invasive thing. There is still a woman under that bump, and still has boundaries and feelings. Some of these stories are mortifying.
ReplyDeleteI'm yet to experience the joy of being pregnant, but I've always been round in the tummy. I'm not overweight as such, and I'm skinny practically everywhere else which I guess gives the illusion, especially after a big lunch I guess I get a little rounder. Last week a co-worker approached me with a big smile on her face, looked at my belly and said "What are you cooking in there, huh? Congratulations!" - when I told her nothing, it was just a "food baby" - she actually touched my stomach and refused to believe me until I insisted that I was on my period so there was no baby! Talk about embarrassing.
Oh my. I had people belly bomb me all the time during my first pregnancy. I've decided this time that when someone touches my belly I'm just gonna touch them back and make a smart comment about personal space.
ReplyDeleteMy sister-in-law is the worse. I'm only eight weeks and already she's touching my fat. I don't mind family touching the belly when I get a big bump going, but it is so annoying when it's just my belly fat they're touching. And when it's close family it's not like you can say anything with out looking like you are just a bitchy pregnant person.
I hate the "are you sure there is only one" & "maybe it's twins" comment. I wanna be like thanks for saying I'm fat, why don't you go have a peek in the mirror sometime. But it's like there is this unwritten rule tht people can say the most thoughtless things when you are pregnant and you just have ignore it or you are miss hormonal.
I was pregnant with twins and when people asked when I was due they look horrified when I would tell them my due date (made me feel real good haha). I carried them full term and at the end of my pregnancy strangers would actually say oh god when they saw me, and how many are you carrying in there , people just don't think sometimes.
ReplyDelete